I am on the other side. I have made the transition.
I am finally here, sitting at my desk in my dorm room, with full decision-making authority of what I will and will not do with my time & energy, when I am not scheduled to be in class. It feels incredibly liberating.
Today was a half-day, due to inclement weather, a flash snowstorm that started just as I left Statistics in Psychology. The first day seldom involves anything other than reviewing the syllabus, so it was dismissed precisely in time for me to return to my dorm before the snowfall started getting heavier. In time for me to review some important email, and take a much-needed nap.
Last night, I finished moving into my dorm room much later than I planned. It was hard to say goodbye, both of us were stalling with small talk to postpone the inevitable. I unpacked a little and set up my bed – covered it with my tapestry of Ganesha, to ward against the cold – and put away some of the food I brought in. I did not know if my other roommates were home, or awake, so I tried to be mindful of how much noise I was making, settling into my room.
My two roommates share the other bedroom. I have not been assigned a partner, yet, which is a relief. I can be my authentic self as I lean into this new experience of living and studying apart from home, and I can take this time to charge up my introvert batteries, while the option for privacy is still available.
The dynamic of living with strangers, sharing space, is unfamiliar to me. I hope the learning curve is not too steep. On the other hand, the dynamic of living on my own, keeping mostly to myself, is something of a comfort to me. I suppose I need to work on balancing the two, this semester.
I miss my family. I will see them, in a week or so, to pick up the rest of my things from home – it is not the same. Someone told me recently, “coming home for the summer is not like coming home.” There is more truth to that than I originally believed. I have no pictures or mementoes to represent them here, I only wish I had thought of that, sooner.
This is where it gets real. This is the moment where I start the second half of my program to achieve my B.A. in Psychology. I have some fears and doubts, but I think I am off to a good start.